Take me the way I am
WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY “TAKE A BREAK” EXACTLY? JUST TAKE A LITTLE REST? BECAUSE DATING ME IS SO MUCH WORK AND YOU’RE TIRED?
JUST SAY YOU WANT TO BREAK UP YOU PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE PIECE OF SHIT. NOBODY “TAKES A BREAK”. YOU DON’T LOVE ME? FINE. YOU CAN’T KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS? FINE. BUT TAKE SOME PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY FOR THOSE FEELINGS AND RESPECT ME ENOUGH NOT TO ASK ME TO AGREE TO LET YOU GO SLEEP AROUND WHILE I SIT AT HOME AND WATCH TV OR WHATEVER. WHAT ARE YOU, SIXTEEN? DID YOU THINK I’D JUST SAY “SURE”?
GET OFF MY BEACH, AND DON’T CALL ME IN A MONTH WITH SOME HALFASSED APOLOGY. AND PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON’T FORGET TO TAKE YOUR SHITTY DUBSTEP RECORDS WITH YOU.
Big 1-9, man.
I’m conflicted about that.
On one hand, I love the idea of being another year older, but on the other, I feel like it’s just a hallmark of another year where I’m exactly the same.
I was told the other day that I keep waiting for things to happen to me, instead of making them happen. Which is very true.
I just have no idea how to make things happen.
Hope with this new age, comes new wisdom.
…then people trying to make me feel guilty for things that have nothing to do with me, is the fact that I let them.
I’m sorry that I didn’t fall madly in love with you.
I’m sorry that I have way too much sexual baggage for a person of my size and age.
I’m sorry that I refuse to throw all caution to the wind and fly by the seat of my pants to embark with you into voyage of homelessness and debt.
But that’s what’s happening. I am who I am. I do what I do, what I will, what I should.
In the last month I decided to fuck my inhibitions and try being spontaneous.
I got burned on that deal, severely.
It will not happen again.
So. Bad.
And I have a snippet sort of memory of last night.
It always seems so fun, while I’m doing it.
But, in the morning, when I’m sending out the ‘I’m so fucking sorry’ text messages,
It’s not fun anymore.
and I still lack the courage to stand up to my mother.
This begs the question, will I ever have the courage to stand up to my mother?
Fuck if I know.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING, SEXTING?
I’M WATCHING YOU SEXT.
I WATCH YOU EVERY TIME YOU SEXT.
IT’S FUNNY. YOU GET SO RED.
… PLUS YOU BLUSH.
and a laundry list of stupid shit I did/said while drunk last saturday.
It’s a win-lose.
Or a win-win.
Or a lose-lose.
It all depends on my mood.
You don’t just get to decide when a argument has started, and when it’s over.
That’s not how this works.
Just because you say ‘sorry’ doesn’t mean I all-of-a-sudden have to forgive you.
We may be family, but sometimes you’re a total douche bag. Sometimes, I don’t forgive you for the shit you say to me.
This isn’t my problem.
If you don’t like people being angry with you, watch what comes out of your mouth.
Some things can’t be taken back.
